So my lovely readers, this week I have worked night and day baking and decorating my offerings for the world’s first 18+ Evil Cake Shop
Where I made lots of eyeballs, maggots and mouldy cakes! But it was not easy…kilos and kilos of butter and icing sugar had to be sacrificed, and some cakes just didn’t make it and were pronounced burnt at the scene of the crime. But I got there in the end readers. There were moments where I struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel and continued to ice cakes like a vacant zombie. Icing cake…after cake…after cake…
But I’ll stop whining, and show you my efforts through a pictoral diary!
In the beginning, there were giant saucepans of cake mix and lots and lots of mess…
And from this mess, towers of cupcakes were built…
And seas of cupcakes flowed freely…
Then, from the skies, buttercream rained down upon these cupcakes, and lo they became pink and tasty…
And they were to be called, The 12 Cupcakes.
Some betrayed their Lord Cupcake, and were sent to ‘The Reject Plastic Bag’ where a terrible fate awaited them; consumption by The Dad.
Others went on to seek greatness; they became mouldy.
(I think I should add here I made them mouldy for that ‘manky’ effect…I didn’t actually leave them to mould for months on end…*cough*)
Others explored the Cake world and found new land where they formed a new race of cake, The Green Cakes. An elite race of cakes that form communities in abandoned jars…
Where they went forth and multiplied. And The Cake Lord said unto them, ‘You shall love thy fellow cupcakes, and obey The 10 Cupmmandments (Geddit? Commandments…Cupcakes…Cupmmandments…It’s a stretch I know.)
1. You shall have no other Cupcake Lords other than me, for I rule the Cupcakes. I am the Uber Cupcake.
2. You shall not take the name of The Cupcake in vain. Or you shall be baked with out of date eggs, and ye shall smell.
3. Remember the Buttercream day, for it is a holy day, when all that is delicous rains upon little cupcakes and transforms them into little drops of Cupcakey heaven
4.Honor your Father and thy Mother, Mr. Oven and Mrs. Kitchen Aid.
5. You shall not eat other Cupcakes. Cupcakes are not Cannibals.
6. You shall not commit Cupcakey Canoodling. You shall be a beautiful tasty cupcake, and will not taint yourself with Cupcakey inbreeding. You are baked as a family of delicous cakes.
7. You shall not steal cupcakey goodness from your fellow Cupcakes.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour. Should a fellow cupcake sit naked and Buttercreamless beside you whilst your bounteous amounts of buttercream sit upon you whilst you look suspicious, ye shall be sent to Cupcakey Hell. The Reject Plastic Bag.
9. You shall not covert your neighbour’s cupcake case; you shall not covert your neighbour’s buttercream, nor his decorations.
10. You shall not try and recreate yourself in the Lord Cupcake’s image. He alone stays forever delicious and has the perfect ratio of icing sugar to butter in his Buttercream.
Behold my Kingdom of Jar Cakes.
Beautiful cupcakes conquered by Maggots.
The Washing Up.
(1 hour later…)
Cake Pop Eyeballs! Rather popular in the shop 😉
And finally a picture of the queue for the shop (Courtesy of Molly Bakes!) Stretching down the high street! Who knew London was so full of sick minded people after 18+ Cake…
P.S I dropped off some cakes to Cupcake Camp London in Camden today where, and here’s why I think there is a God, there was Jude Law! He is a beautiful, beautfiful man. I had to convince his children my maggots wern’t actually real…(Which of course they are…)
PP.S My cakes were on the telly! BBC 1’s ‘The One Show’. You can see my Maggot Cake and my eyeball!