The Gimp Skull

Ok, so this isn’t exactly one for the kids, but I made it, so I feel obliged to share it!

*WARNING*

 If you’re easily offended by anything even remotely related to S&M/Bondage/Skulls, please divert your gaze to fluffier posts like ‘The Easter Cake’ or ‘I built a House’…not ‘The Gimp Skull’…you have been warned.

First, we find a nice man on Ebay who sells Skull chocolate moulds…and ‘Buy it Now’ because who can be bothered to wait 6 days to be outbid at the last minute…

Then we buy some White Chocolate from Mr. Tesco…and argue with the self service checkout that it is in fact 2 bars for £2, not 2 for £2.87, I’m human, you’re a robot, I’m right, you’re wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it…except tell the world there’s a problem in the bagging area and leave me looking angry and embarassed shaking £2 at you…

Sorry, enough of ‘Ode to a Self scanning machine’…on with the bloggage!

Then! Throw your chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of boiling water and wait for it to melt slowly but surely. And forget momentarily that metal conducts heat, leave your big metal spoon in the bowl, then come back 10 minutes later and pick up said metal spoon and wonder why your hand suddenly feels like you left it in a fire…then remember metal conducts heat, and skin dislikes hot metal objects.

Then drool over your melted chocolate…

Then! Get hold of your trusty sunflower oil, pour a lil’ on some kitchen towel and wipe a lil’ amount over the inside of your moulds for easy release and a lil’ shine on your chocolate..

Theeen spoon the melted chocolate into the moulds…

(Be warned, I have no sympathy for you if you stand back from your mould astounded as to why you don’t have enough left to fill all your moulds, only to look at yourself in the mirror covered with white chocolate and realise you are the reason there is not enough chocolate left to fill the moulds…)

Then we twiddle our thumbs for 30 minutes while the chocolate cools off…

Here I shall add, I read a recipe for chocolate in chocolate moulds, and it went on about all this fancy stuff about how you must have at least 70% cocoa solids..and how you must temper your chocolate; that fancy word none of us really have a clue what it means (I’ll let you in on a secret, it means melt your chocolate to 110 degrees using your magical sugar thermometer, then let it cool to 95 degrees, and then, and only then! Can you use your chocolate…) But riddle me this dear readers. I bought the magical thermometer off Mr. Ebay. But come the fateful eve I decided to make these chocolate heads, I couldn’t be bothered to use it…

And do you know what happened dear readers? Nothing. I did not get the best chocolate (Don’t judge me I’m a poor student!) And I didn not use my magical £6 thermometer, and yet lo’ and behold my chocolate heads came out fine…

Conclusion? Don’t listen to people who use big fancy words like ‘tempering’ chocolate. They lie. They have more money and time than sense. And more often than not (like in the case of boiling my glucose and water for my marshmallows to a perfect temperature with a magical stick I again failed to use…) these recipes that require magical sticks don’t really need them!

Just use your common sense! If it looks hot or melted, chances are it’s ready. So spend £6 on chocolate for yourself and no one need waste their money buying magical temperature sticks from Ebay.

Rant over. My apologies. But I did just save you time and money! Hurrah!

And then fiiinally we add a lil’ water to a lil’ black colouring paste and paint a lovely gimp mask on to our skulls!

Enjoy! x

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This entry was posted in January 2010. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Gimp Skull

  1. Suzy says:

    Those are GREAT!! They’d be perfect for Halloween!!

  2. Astral says:

    Slightly creepy but I bet they taste great! These would be brilliant for a fetish event, I’ve been commissioned to make fetish cupcakes before, great fun. Liking the new wordpress too, especially the cupcakey background. x

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