Things that should never be in a Cake…

Now admittedly, the list of things that should bever be in a cake could go on for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long (you get the idea) time, petrol, animals, children, Betty Crocker, vegetables (I’ll give you carrots, because carrot cake is the food of the gods, but any other vegetable has no place in a cake!) ahem, to name but a few…

So, this month’s very late post will concern none other than ingredients that have lurked in the shadows and found their way into unsuspecting cakes and hijacked their tasty cakey goodness!

Should you want to brave making anything from the list, there are recipes with the ingredients abusing the cake hyperlinked below!

I’ll start you off with something gentle to prepare you for the shocking ingredients that lie ahead…

Drum Roll…

1. Coca Cola! Admittedly, not that shocking or repulsive an ingredient, as I myself have baked with it and it taste rather good…

 

Check out this Coca-Cola cake that includes a full 16-ounce bottle of Coca-Cola!

2. This next one is a little more disturbing…

Tofu cake anyone?!

  

Bizarrely, there are some crazy people out there who want to make their cakes healthier, lighter, and calorie free (my advice if you are one of these people, save yourself the trouble, and just eat some cake! No replacement will ever taste as good…) Tofu is one of these wannabe cake ingredients, and is a good substitute for eggs and oil in many cake recipes.

3.  This pains me to type dear readers, and I suggest you read through this next part very quickly, for I present to you, Tomato Soup…

Yes, you read it correctly, Tomato Soup.

 

 

 

 

No really.

Tomato Soup Cake 

Tomato soup  adds some moisture to the cake as well as a beneficial burst of antioxidants. It works well as a complementary ingredient in cakes that feature cinnamon and clove to add a nice spicy element.’

I’m sorry readers, but this is just wrong. A genuine crime against cake.

Moving swiftly on!

4. Babies…

Before I have the police around accusing me of baking new born’s into my cakes, i do of course mean baby DOLLS!

Still confused? Observe…

I never said these un-gredients would all be edible…This is a New Orleans King Cake. A colorful, sugary cake, traditionally served at Mardi Gras since the 1800s, which contains a tiny plastic baby doll. Whoever gets the slice of cake with the baby is rewarded with good luck and the honor of bringing the King Cake the following year. And a nasty, creepy surprise as well…

 

5.  Mayonnaise

And you thought Tomato Soup was bad…

This I can understand…a little…deep down at the bottom of my cakey heart…because people do use sour cream in recipes (for some bizarre reason, cakes should be teeth achingly sweet!)

Mayonnaise has somehow found its way to Chocolate Cake recipes. Apparently it adds a nice tangy element to the cake and ensures that it will remain extremely moist…but you still have to live with yourself knowing you ate a cake with mayonnaise in it…

(I should point out that isn’t a dollop of mayonnaise on top of the cake…I hope…)

 

6. Chilli

Who doesn’t enjoy the sensation of your mouth burning whilst trying to enjoy some cake?

 

The residents of Mexico and South America certainly love it…in fact they’re well-known for mixing the sweet with the spicy. The combo of hot and sweet is a culinary classic. Most cake recipes that use this unexpected ingredient call for the powdered version of the pepper, used in proportion with other spices. This makes it an easy additive to bring just the right amount of heat to balance the sweet.

 

Chocolate chilli fudge cake

 

And now, I believe I have truly saved the best/most shocking/most disgusting ingredient until last…

Behold…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Pork

Yep. Pork. As in the pig kind, as in roast pork, as in sausages…as in the thing you eat before you have the cake…as in pretty much the furthest thing from a cake ingredient you can possibly get…

But I kid you not. Did you know, ‘The Duchess’ Pork Cake’ belongs to that exclusive of families, war cakes…recipes developed for eggless, butterless times. Dark and dense, the many variations follow a basically unchanging formula: raisins and spice to mask the pig tasting aspect of the batter, plus our old friend tomato soup instead of butter and the all important half a pound of salt pork. Yum.

 

20090717pork_cake_collage.jpg 20090717duchess_cake.jpg

20090722porkcake.jpg

As one brave baker reports on the actual baking and tasting of such an, er, unusual cake…‘If not for the dirty, swinish note at the end of each bite, it would have utterly won me over. ‘

 

Whilst usually I encourage my readers to go forth and bake the scrumptiousness that features on these pages…with this post, I would discourage such activity…

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This entry was posted in January 2010. Bookmark the permalink.

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